Heart MakeOver

I just listened to a great sermon from Pastor Chris Hodges of Church of the Highlands. He was speaking about expanding the capacity of your heart. This really shook me up as I have been at a place of stagnation over the past few weeks. I have not been intentional in my walk and have been at the state of blah. Although, I know God has been working all around me in amazing ways over the past few weeks, I have a difficult time going to Him daily the way that I desire. Writing in this blog helps me to reach down and pull from experiences that have been recently affecting me.

I have felt desensitized to the world around me and that has really bothered me. My heart used to urgently soften when I heard of someone really struggling or having a tough time in their life. But that feeling has not been there lately. And one thing that I have learned in this, is that my faith to God is much more than a feeling. It is a behavior, an action, a choice, a prievelege, a safe place, and most importantly a deep relationship with the one who created me and died for all my faults and failures. Yet, knowing this has not carried over to the way my heart used to break for someone who is on the edge of destruction. Those moments used to cause the fire of God to stir deep in my belly. This "unreaction" may be coming from some bitterness of those who have hurt me or let me down. Or even more a feeling of God not being there in situations I deeply need him in. I'm not sure, I am just thinking out loud and hoping God will come rushing in with an answer or a response to my lack of ferver.

I am now calling out to God for a deep encouter with Him. As David was after God's heart I ask for that same yurning. I know God freely and abundantly gives to those who ask. And, I know now that is not worldly possesions, but spiritual upgrades and renewals. I want God's word to come alive yet again. I know that He is faithful in all things, even when I am not.

be blessed,
your boy elbow

Real Life

Last night at YoungLife a kid came up to me after and asked if I would pray for him. I knew some things had been going on his life, but it really hit me last night. Most of the kids that I work with are inner city kids and have lived lives that I could never imagine. So, the kid, our leader, Jack, and myself went into one of the closed off hallways and began to ask him what was going on. We knew he was affliated in one of the local gangs and he was trying to get out. But last night, he told us the gang was looking for him and wanted to him dead. They had already found one of his friends over the weekend, shooting him twice, leaving the friend in Intensive Care with not much hope of making it alive.

This cut right to my heart last night and could not fight back tears later in our leaders meeting. I saw this innocent kid scared out of his mind and in complete submission to the Lord. All he wanted from us was prayer. He wanted to hear this would be okay and God was watching over him. He has been hiding out at a family members house and bolts there everyday after to school. He told us he did not want to think bad thoughts and consider taking matters into his own hands. This left me in such fear for this kid, because I know he has a wonderful heart and is having to make decisions no one in their life should ever have to make.

As we prayed for him, I just thanked God for his heart of surrender. He knows this is dangerous and he does not know what to do. And when we have no idea what to do God is right there for us to show us a safe path. And this 17 year old kid recognized this and desires for the Lord to walk with him every where he goes.

So, please keep my friend in your thoughts and prayers. I wish there was more I could do, but as my leader told me last night I would only be putting my life in danger by getting involved. Prayer is all we can do he said. Trust in God to watch over him, protect him, and guide him through this.


be blessed,
your boy elbow